Thank heavens for indoor play centres, because after the second hour of Lucas and I just sitting there and staring at each other, I was about to set myself alight just so that something interesting would happen. Seriously though, that kid is weird, and I’m bad with kids in general so I don’t see why I’m being put in charge of the weird ones. Kevin and Zoe just HAD to go to day-conference, and I just HAD to be the next-door neighbor with enough free time and not enough backbone to say no. See, this is why couples shouldn’t both do the same job. Because of stuff like this.

I can’t help it if the presence of children sets off my proximity alarm. It’s not my fault I was born with the in-built desire to climb the curtains if one of them brushes past my leg. Besides indoor play centres near Perth are there for people like me. Lucas really enjoys going there, I think, and even if it’s not his thing, it’s better than us just sitting in silence. He gets to go play with the other kids. Or, you know, whatever play looks like for him, because as I’ve mentioned…weird. He probably went and categorised the balls in the ball pit according to colour and then sat all the other kids down for a lecture on why they’re all tying their shoes wrong.

Seriously though, I don’t know why there’s not an indoor play centre on every single corner, for people like me or parents who want to give their kids some free exercise while they themselves drink coffee. Sure, you have to pay to get in, but that’s just how a capitalist society works. You pay for goods and services, and parents are always spending money on their kids anyway, so whatever.

No? Perth party venues for kids are just for people like me? Nah…there were parents there who loved their offspring. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. Lucas isn’t mine, so that makes us mortal enemies. Makes perfect sense.

-Paul