It sure is great how technology allows us to stare our failure in the face and be utterly defeated by them. I mean, what’s next? An entire VR game where people look after virtual children, in virtual scenarios?? Ha! Like that’s going to happen.

No, this is bad enough. I thought doing a childcare course would just be a lot of essays, and then maybe they’d let us loose on the real thing if we proved ourselves hard enough. Instead, everyone in the class has been given a model of a child that does all the things a child does and more, and we’re expected to take care of it in class like it’s real.

What a fun day we just had. Me and Demonica (that’s the name I gave mine; one of its eyes is loose and the voice box doesn’t work properly so it says half of its words backwards) went to an indoor play centre in Jandakot! No, not really. If I took this thing to an actual indoor play centre I’d be kicked out for  scaring the children. Seriously, this thing makes ventriloquist dummies look like fluffy teddy bears. But we had to take our ‘children’ out to the ‘indoor play centre’, and keep them safe while also allowing them the freedom to learn and discover and get healthy exercise in a colourful, pretend environment.

Of course, Tammy had to butt in with her own little fake scenario where her child Mildred (who names a child Mildred?) had a problem with Demonica, and they started fighting. Then the tutor swooped in, complimented Tammy on ‘enhancing the learning experience’ and asked us how we’d solve the crisis if two children in our care were actually fighting.

Under normal circumstances, no one would actually be fighting with Demonica, because dear heavens if only you could see her. But instead, I said we’d find an indoor play centre in Campbelltown instead and just go there. Pretty sure I got marked down for that one. Sorry for finding an instant solution.

-Josephine