Desert Island Chronicles: Man Out of Time?

Day 874 on the desert island: How am I even typing this? I feel like I might have asked myself this before the two-year anniversary had passed, but I really can’t remember. Time has just stopped mattering to me beyond night and day, which is actually really nice. I have nowhere I need to be, […]

Unlock Toolboxes as the Japanese Do

If you think learning a new language is hard, try learning it while working in the country, living by yourself and trying to hold a job. Manual labour is pretty much the only job they’d give me, because I’m awful at teaching and I don’t have a clue where any of the stuff is inside […]

Arborists Make the Nicest Noises

There are arborists outside my apartment, right now. And the noise they’re making is heavenly. I was up early anyway, since I heard rain and I went to the window to work on my symphonic poem, Rain at the Window. There are few things more peaceful than the patter-patter, and I want to incorporate that […]

Everyone’s Favourite Staring Spot

Ever since we got all the windows tinted, the staring hole has become the most popular place in the office. It’s practically impossible to see anything through this gloom, except for this one little part of the tinting where I think the birds have scratched it away. Ever since they put in those draconian internet […]

Oh Good, It’s More Conveyancing Talk

Oh boy, we’re talking about conveyancing again. This is directly contravening the Futurist’s Club’s main rule, which is to never step backwards, and at this point most of us are just waiting for the saga to end. The great conveyancing saga of 2018. That’s what I’m going to tell Vera to call it in the […]

Cool Cut for Cold Season

Is it just me, or did it just become winter overnight? I’ve particularly noticed it in the mornings – it was so hard to get out of bed today, probably on account of the darkness. It’s dark by the time I get home in the evenings, too. It’s not all bad – there’s something to […]

Pro Glass = Pro Class

I’m waiting for a mirror to arrive. I should have left Marlene to do this herself – I have better things to do! To bring you up to speed, my sister, Marlene, runs a tap dance studio from her home. She’s overseas at the moment, so she roped me into receiving the delivery of her […]

Snap Your Fingers, Home of Your Dreams

Fresh off the showing of ‘Revengers: Infinite S’mores’, and I have to say that it’s probably movie of the year. I know it’s a big, over-bloated superhero flick where all the budget got poured into the CGI effects and not the dialogue, but still, I love the idea of a bunch of dastardly anti-heroes ganging […]

Pre-holiday Pest Problems

Argh! I have bed bugs! This is a nightmare, especially since I’m flying to the other side of the world tomorrow. Besides that, I’m horrified by the very thought of these things and their burrowing antics. There’s something very deep-seated about my revulsion towards their moving in on my sleeping quarters. I’m going overboard on […]

Infestation Station

I wish those possums would get out of the danged roof! They’ve been keeping me awake at night all week. I don’t know what they’re doing up there, but it’s causing a helluva racket. I’ve asked my neighbour, who works in pest control, what I can do about it, and he said I’d have to […]