No Pasta For You

Some people will do anything to get on television, up to and including selling out their own family. As far as I’m concerned, if you drag your children onto television with you to promote a hare-brained scheme that you clearly haven’t thought through, you need to be hauled in front of a judge for child […]

Extra-Strength Glass

If it were up to me, this house wouldn’t have any glass at all. Glass is a tactical weakness, and there are always enemies everywhere. People say I’m crazy, but I say THEY are the crazy ones for not recognising the danger in front of them. There’s a whole gang out there, up to all […]

Have Your Renovations

When I chose this history elective as part of my uni course, I thought it was going to be a doss. History is history, so it’s not like you need to learn anything more than facts and figures. I’m really good with facts and figures as well, so no problems here. Just got to remember […]

Window Wonders

Ah, the wonders of being a homeowner. There’s no end to this ever-unfolding journey. For example, moving into your new pad, only to discover that none of those beautifully painted, double hung windows in the master bedroom actually open. What the? What kind of insane person lived here, and how can I banish their airflow-denying […]

Solar Could Help

I’m not even sure how to explain this. It’s pretty rare for me to call family meetings in the first place, because we spend enough time together in my opinion. But I just can’t help it. I have a way for us to make the farm work more efficient, and it must be heard. Of […]

Mind That Drain

Children sure are a gift, which is why I’ll probably never have any of them ever again. Two is great; I’m gonna cap it at this number. Any more and I literally do not know how I would cope, which is weird when you think about people who have three, four, five…more…like, HOW? You only […]

Rust Everywhere

It’s always been a dream of mine to live by the sea, so here we are. Well, here I am…still just me, but now that I finally have a garden I’d like to get a cat. My working hours don’t allow for a dog, but if the cat was able to come and go as […]

Wallpaper Effort

In my ideal dream house you can change the settings, like you can on ‘The Simulation World’. I spent many an hour of my childhood building a home, making my simulation people happy, giving them a good life and killing them all when I got bored. But now it’s given me a wildly unrealistic idea […]

Urban Jungle

What do you get when you throw an urban horticulturist and an aerosol artist together under one roof? You get my current living space, that’s what. This is especially the case if you add in a strong dose of enthusiasm for home decor on both sides of the equation. Basically, the space is a wall-to-wall […]

Divine Portfolio

I’m thinking of buying a country church. Yes, you read that right and no, I haven’t become a devout follower of religion since you last heard from me. I’m going to renovate this baby and set it up as a funky little function venue. It’s in a great part of the country, just far enough […]