Property

Snap Your Fingers, Home of Your Dreams

Fresh off the showing of ‘Revengers: Infinite S’mores’, and I have to say that it’s probably movie of the year. I know it’s a big, over-bloated superhero flick where all the budget got poured into the CGI effects and not the dialogue, but still, I love the idea of a bunch of dastardly anti-heroes ganging up on a lovely blue alien who just wants to give half of the universe the experience of going to summer camp and having a grand old time. Turns out he was denied the experience in his youth, and the only way he can achieve his goal is with an infinitely-powerful mitten filled with magical birthstones.

I mean, the whole thing just feels very relatable. I never got to go to summer camp, so I related to that, at least. We need more of this stuff on screen: depictions of people with real, attainable desires. Craig and Anne have posted on Visage-Tome again…’so happy about our new home! Cheers to the Melbourne property advocates who made it a reality!’ And then you can take a little video tour with Craig giving commentary that nobody asked for about all the stuff he’s going to add to his new home. If someone made a blockbuster about Craig and Anne hiring a property advocate to find them a home, I wouldn’t watch it. Some people would as a form of escapism, but in my opinion, escapism that’s too close to real life stops being escapist and becomes the exact opposite.

I’d just be watching the movie and thinking…I want to be looking for a home with the girl of my dreams. I want to hire a property advocacy company to help me find my perfect high-end property. I want to be the one rubbing it in everyone’s faces that I’m going to install a Jacuzzi on the third floor.

If I only had the Affinity Mitten. I could just snap my fingers and half of all my dreams would come true, buyers advocate, Melbourne penthouse, five Labradors and maybe gorgeous wife…depends on which half. But snapping your fingers in mittens is really hard, you know. That’s why it’s such a rare and hard-to-use artifact.

-Peytr