Lighting for a Burst of Brilliance!

I wonder if causing temporary pain to the audience is within the bounds of ethical theatre conduct? I mean…if it’s done in the name of ART, surely it must be fine. I’d issue a warning, but then that would ruin the purpose of the piece, and we can’t have something like that. You see, my […]

Ah, Good Old Sail Away

I’ll never understand the obsession with things that aren’t real. Mathematics is real, science is real, grocery shopping…well, that’s all too real. But people shooting laser beams at each other and yelling their attacks in a foreign language? So terribly strange. It’s the entire reason we have two televisions now. The kids can go and […]

Like the branches of a tree

Things never look as good when you look back on your childhood years. Take my pigtail obsession, for example. For two years straight I wore my hair in pigtails, every day, without fail. I’d preach their value to my fellow six-year-olds, and give the same style to any girls in my class who’d let me […]

Indoor Spaces Aren’t So Bad…

I haven’t checked, but I might be the only person with this condition in the world. Or at least, I’ve never met anyone with a crippling fear of indoor spaces. Maybe they’ve all grown out of it and now they live indoors, hence why we’ve never crossed paths. That has to be it. Basically, my […]

Mechanic Saves My Car Fail

I was meant to drive my sister’s car to the mechanic today, as a favour. She got this ride a while back, and I’ve always found driving it to be a slightly odd experience. It’s kitted out with unnecessary paraphernalia, like a screen on the dashboard that helps you judge parking distance and DVD players […]

Lifting Weights for Fun and Oxygen

Okay, so apparently…and don’t quote me on this, but *apparently*, breathing is good for you. Pro tip, you didn’t hear it from me, doctors HATE me for revealing this one weird trick. I know. But I’m new to weight-lifting, and the whole point of the exercise is to lift heavy things that people shouldn’t usually […]

Play Centres, More of Those Please

Thank heavens for indoor play centres, because after the second hour of Lucas and I just sitting there and staring at each other, I was about to set myself alight just so that something interesting would happen. Seriously though, that kid is weird, and I’m bad with kids in general so I don’t see why […]

Learning with my Fake Child

It sure is great how technology allows us to stare our failure in the face and be utterly defeated by them. I mean, what’s next? An entire VR game where people look after virtual children, in virtual scenarios?? Ha! Like that’s going to happen. No, this is bad enough. I thought doing a childcare course […]

Friday is Roast Potato Night

I swear on my grandmother’s grave that there’s no problem that can’t be addressed by potatoes roasted with oil, salt, lemon and rosemary. I can make such a statement because that’s something my late grandmother herself used to say, virtually on a daily basis. She used to make me roast potatoes when I’d go to […]