Dy Needling, for Conserving Weight

Obviously, one thing we’re going to be needing on the moon is alternative medicine. Scientifically-proven alternative medicine, obviously. I’ve been looking into various healing methods that will conserve both funds and space, since resources will be at a premium for the initial stages of our Lunar Habitation. Now, oxygen chambers are nice and all, but they’re rather large and cumbersome. No, I’m thinking something more like acupuncture or dry needling, which is good for plenty of things that ail you.

I’m thinking the person with the most medical training should be booked into a trigger point dry needling course, so that they can learn the amazing ways. Then, we’ll be able to service basically everyone who needs it.

Needles are so small and thin; they don’t take up much room, and we can cleanse them while we’re up there so we just need to bring some really good quality ones. The best dry needles money can buy! It’s an investment for the future health of our kingdom, and while the dry needling course will only be afforded to one person, they can then pass on their great knowledge to future generations.

Perhaps in time, once our space station opens up economic trading with the nations of Earth, we will export our great dry needling expertise as one of our greatest accomplishments. Of course, our borders will be tightly controlled, but on the very limited tours of the Lunar Base that will be offered to very wealthy investors, our wonderful dry needling sessions will be offered as part of the experience. And they will tell of it to the world!

Of course, we still need to book a dry needling course in Sydney, or some such place. Wherever will be convenient for the medical brother or sister who will be looking after our alternative health needs.

-B. Nathaniel