At this point I’m thinking that summer is just as expensive as winter; there is no point in the year when the electricity companies are not trying to get something out of you. It’s not very decent of them, but what can you do?

Oh, right…become a superhuman. That’s right: I’m aiming to develop a comprehensive programme by which you can withstand the heat, shrug off the cold and generally not need to worry about many of the more expensive things in life. So you’ll need to eat less, drink less, use less water, and I’m trying to eliminate the need for electricity. I know it sounds like an insurmountable task but far as I can see it’s the only way we’ll continue thrive as a species.  Working on that, but right now I’m looking into trigger point dry needling courses. You see, I’m thinking that trigger points are the pathway to many abilities some would consider to be unnatural, but actually they’re totally natural. Humans have the potential inside them to be better, and if all it takes is more people who can do dry needling, then that’s what I’m going to put into my programme. Interestingly enough, dry needling is something that helps with aches and pains, and those are the two things I say are holding the human race back. Those terrible aches, and equally-obtrusive pains. And think about it…all this ties into hot and cold. When you’re cold, your joints don’t really work as well. And when you’re very hot, your joints swell up, and that does…something. Not really sure.

Anyway, the end result is that we need needling, and we need it fast. I’ll be doing my best to find dry needling courses, Sydney, Melbourne, anywhere! Once everyone knows how to needle, their joints will be fine, they won’t need heating or air conditioning, and then we can get on with phase two: only eating broccoli and drinking purified mineral water.

-Bryce