Apparently the office design in Melbourne is great, which is terrible because we’re in Sydney and we hate them, for some ill-defined reason. This deadly and very legitimate feud goes back to the olden days, when we were fighting over who got to be the capital. Should’ve been Sydney, obviously, but because we were too cool and awesome, they had to give it to Canberra to avoid hurting Melbourne’s feelings.

And now they think they can just have nicer offices than us. As if! The office designers based in Sydney are the some of the best in the world, so I have surmised with no real proof. They have to be, because Sydney has the best of everything, and a crowd draws a crowd. Once we became good at a few things, then we basically because the best at all the other things, because everyone who was the best came here to be the best, in Sydney. So obviously, our office interior design is the best in all of Australia, nay the world. I don’t actually work in an office but I don’t have to because I’ve seen them…on TV. Week of Our Lives might be all based around a town near Melbourne, but in Sydney we have our own version, ‘Days of Our Chives’, all about the dramas happening in a popular restaurant that specialises in chive-based dishes. And yeah, that’s not an office either, but sometimes the chefs have significant others who have office jobs, scenes are shot on-location, and all of them look amazing. They do a fantastic job showcasing the talent of Sydney. Office fitouts are more important now than any time in the past according to new studies. It’s time to take design seriously, which you can have done today, and you should because aesthetic is the most important thing. Our state rivalry is super important, deep and entrenched, and the reasons for it are many. Too many for me to go into here. But they can’t have better offices than us, because we’re Sydney, and we’re better. Because reasons!

-Nate